Harry Potter in the name of the Gun
by mcfanficcer
Summary: Harry Potter had used a gun to take down Voldemort once and for all, all because he got stuck in a crossover between multiple rationalist fanfics including Methods of Rationality, a Chinese novel and its prequel HPMP. He had now become more than a wizard... he was the gun wizard. It was time to use magic and chew gun. Rated M because gun.
1. Chapter 1

Previously, the protagonists of Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality and Harry Potter and the Rise of the Average Person, the two worse rationalist fics of Harry Potter ever written, along with the protagonist of an even worse rationalist fic and two others who had read the fics of the previous one respectively, one after the other, before being drawn into a crossover of fics within the world of the books, wherein a final showdown foreshadowed by ancient runes of Atlantis took place with the winner being granted the right to cross the event horizon and become god of a new world implanted with the logical ideal of the soul.

A fierce battle took place and Harry took down Voldemort with a gun he got by disarming the fifth protagonist not counting himself, Oscar Wilde, after which ****, the fic's third main character and main character of the fic he resided in, disarmed the time-traveller now named Stephy, who had tried to overthrow both protagonists for making fics with prose unlike the great works of Rowling, who had as revenge taken the time turner which in the first fanfic originally belonged to Hariezer, called so due to his name changing from Harry into Eliezer, the author of the fic, which happened after his world collided with hpap wherein the protagonist wasn't Harry but someone who read the books and due to some sort of reincarnation, revealed beforehand in hpmp, coexisted with Harry, resulting in both Harry and Hariezer with two Quirrells, one of which had died in battle with Dumbledore off-screen, coexisting in the third fic, and continuining to be so through the iteration of protagonists up until Stephen, who revealed the secret behind the whole thing, winning then the match, which he did out of pure revenge over reading the other fics that had way too many mentions of bayes and Chinese cooking, due to the sudden appearance of Oscar Wilde ruining Stephy's plan after infiltrating Hogwarts by going through a SCP-[REDACTED] which he found hidden in the headquarters of the Foundation from his home in America, bringing then a gun, for revenge over reading a joke in ****'s fic being mentioned in Stephy's fic that was made far too many times about his favorite game.

Little did Harry know he was fated to become a wizard gun hybrid. The gun wizard. And the fate it entailed.

This story was over.

This is the story of what happened next.

* * *

"Why haven't I thought of using g-" started Hariezer. He then took note of the scene.

"Wait, what's going on?"

"The agents will be arriving at any moment," said Wilde. "I have left a trail."

It was a mistake on his part.

In fact, he had not planned to go on this long. All he wanted was revenge. But now, he realized that he had made a mistake.

The treaty of copyright agents and the Foundation, he knew, was under suspension because he crossed to the wizarding world. This treaty had been the reason people were allowed to use copyrighted characters in fanfiction. It was all in order to contain SCP-[REDACTED].

Wilde had left a path to this world.

Now, anything goes.

"They have already made the move on the Foundation. They will scan the area, isolate this chamber, then claim copyright over the school, the wizarding world and then… _the world_."

* * *

"What number?"

"[REDACTED]."

"What?"

* * *

"We have to buy time."

At least until the third protagonist finishes crossing the event horizon.

"I used to underestimate wizards… but perhaps… we can take on the muggles."

After all, he had long gone to realize.

_Muggles can just use gun,_ he had thought. Who cares about wand?

That was until the fateful moment where Harry used the spell accio to take his gun.

He had then realized. If muggles could use gun… wizards could take gun.

He was the first in a generation to do this. A moment beckoning of the discovery of the wheel. Maybe the landing on the moon or some such event.

"We have many who know the books that describe Hogwarts, though one is in a higher plane right now," suggested Stephen. "Perhaps we can devise a plan."

* * *

"Perhaps we can have a spell to multiply our few bullets, if not take them," started Wilde.

"They do this all day with food," said Charles. "Though it's still not food from Thailand, China. Which they should've multiplied instead."

"I… what? How is that relevant?" asked Stephy.

"It's quite good food." said Wilde.

"Agreed," repeated Charles.

"..."

A pause went on.

"How much time do we have?" asked Wilde.

"Hah, we have all the time in the world," said Stephy showing her time tuners, one of which had its restrictions unlocked as it was taken from the Ministry in the future then sent back as any rational person would do in the situation.

"Is Voldemort gone?" asked Harry. He had tried his best to come back even if he was nothing during the showdown.

"No," Charles said. "There's at least seven horcruxes according to the books. He can come back."

"What are those?"

"Fragments of his soul. This means he is not here but yet he's not out of equation. Someone will have to take on the horcruxes later when we have time. Lucky we already know all about them from the books."

"What if... we call him back ourselves?" suggested Wilde.

* * *

"I calculate a probability of 90% bayes that we have no choice."

As much as Hariezer wanted the rights to become a singularity himself using the Philosopher's Stone, it would be much worse if it were to fall in the hands of… them. The copyright holders.

At worst, it'll all come to nothing. The world of Hogwarts would not be rationalized, as it should.

* * *

"This whole world... infringes copyright law." The agents said upon arriving.


	2. Chapter 2

"_Pottah... and the other Pottahs..." _said Voldemort to the main cast. "_Are you in such dire need that you call upon me? Are you joining my cause?_"

"We're no racists, like you, but-" said Ron who just walked in.

"There are muggles invading Hogwarts," said Harry. "I'm no racist either, but we hear you hate them."

"We need any help we can get right now," said Oscar Wilde. It was a mystery to him how people could be racists. It was forbidden by several laws and probably the constitution too. Because the government of the United States of America had not reached the world, he thought, he had allowed to be one.

"I'd murder anyone at the slightest hint they might turn against me, or no hint at all, I once murdered a boggart pretending to be myself for no reason," said the protagonist of the Chinese light novel. "...equally."

"_The Chamber of Secrets shall be opened once again... hsst..._"

* * *

"All our agents are being turned into stone," said someone using walkie-talkies, what copyright agents used to communicate, to Smith, their leader. "I think the cause is a giant basilisk but it's hard to tell since it is a secret."

"Send in more agents, I don't care."

* * *

Meanwhile in Thailand, China.

"Damn it," said the overlords that ruled the place. They had failed to send their representative to the portal to Hogwarts to fulfill an ancient prophecy that would turn him into a singularity, by which means they'd advertise Chinese food and rule the world as a result of the advertisement.

This was bigger than the race to the moon.

And they had lost.

"It's time to resort to... _that_."

* * *

"The other agents are dying non-stop," said an agent. "At least I hear this from the walkie-talkie. Lucky, this didn't happen to us."

"Hogwarts is free to be claimed as it's copyright infringement. Hahaha!"

The whole world in fact infringed on copyright laws as it looks like a setting from the book made by J.K. Rowling and the only reason fanfics were allowed to be made was because this world existed, making a loophole as the fiction could be considered to base themselves in this place instead and not the book.

The basilisk had not been in this area.

However, their luck would soon stop.

A shadowy figure blocked their path.

"I am... Neville Longbottom."

"Who is this? Shoot him or something."

"Some time ago, I tried to stop my friends from going into the place where the ancient prophecy of Atlantis would be held. It is now too late. Then I realized that there are other guys I'd have to st-"

He was stopped midway in the monologue.

However, it would seem his development got heavily accelerated once he saw the Chinese person and he figured magic was able to be done in ancient runes and that awakened his true powers as he had affinity for elemental earth runes because he liked botany and from there he got rune magic and transfiguration and the rest just followed from there.

He drew the Sword of Gryffindor and blocked the bullet with a sword which he could also transfigure at will.

"Blocking a gun... with sword. I have nowhere seen this before."

"Hah, bullets are nothing but steel and that is a type of earth."

Suddenly the floor was covered by earth created by earth runes and mad plants that ate the guys.

"I know the specimen and name of these plants," said Hermione who had walked in.

* * *

"Okay, so the SCP this time is a basilisk that turns people into stone."

"He's inside this other SCP. SCP... what was it... [REDACTED]."

"What number?"

"[REDACTED]."

"Wait, so how do we name it? What number is left? I forgot."

"C'mon, he's inside SCP-[REDACTED]. So he'd just be SCP-[REDACTED]-1. The next thing we encounter will be SCP-[REDACTED]-2 then three then four and so on, it's not rocket science. Since all these SCPs are inside this SCP, the numbers are not taken."

"SCP what?"

* * *

"Time stop," said Stephy turning on the time turners which could do this.

Now they could all use guns really fast on the agents like in the movie.

Soon multiple Harries, Stephies and Wilde took on the SCP agents.

"How... did they pass the basilisk? Well, it's not important."

* * *

_"Hsst,"_ said the basilisk.

However, he was quickly clawed at by Doctor Claw or what is his name.

The SCP agents would have no more problems, aside from the moving stairs and what not, that they named SCP-[REDACTED]-2. But the agents are not the issue here. Not when Claw itself took time to go on this SCP.

"Not so fast," said a shadowy figure. Neville took the shadowy cape and swung the Gryffindor sword.

"Clack clack," said Claw.

The claw met the sword... but which is mightier?

A great clawsh had begun.


End file.
